Life is Short

Sometimes when you're young you think nothing can hurt you, it's like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans to find your perfect match, the one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize its not so easy. It's not until the end of your life you realize that the plans you made were simply plans. In the end, when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe you're leaving something good behind. You want to have mattered. 

Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small, like when you do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger, like when you let down a friend. Some of us escape the pain of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret because we're looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change our ways. But our biggest regrets are not for the things we do, but the things we didn't do. Things we didn't say that could have saved someone we care about. 

The Tide that Left and Never Came Back

George Bernard Shaw once wrote, "there are two great tragedies in life, one is to lose your hearts desire, the other is to gain it." Clearly, Shaw had his heart broken once or twice. As far as I'm concerned, Shaw was an idiot because you know what, tragedies happen, what are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize now more then ever that when you're heart breaks you have to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive, because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better, something worth fighting for. This year I got everything I wanted, but in a way, I lost even more. Shaw was right, as we strain to grasp the things we desire, the things that we think will make our lives better (money, popularity, fame), we ignore what truly matters, the simple things like friendship, family and love. The things we probably already had. So yes, losing your hearts desire is tragic, but gaining your hearts desire... that's all you can hope for. This year, I wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and awake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted, and if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy because i wouldn't give it back for the world. 

First Time

So...I tried this blogging thing once, in like 9th grade. I gave up in 10th grade just because i never had time, but i figure I might as well try again because A. Im really bored and B. I write in a journal every night anyways and this isn't much different. 

So summers almost over and I can't believe it's been going by so fast! I feel like it was yesterday I got home! Nothing too exciting has happened though, Bonnaroo was probably the highlight. I wish I could go to the beach though, but I don't have time OR money to do that. These last couple weeks have been exhausting. I just got a new job at Jimmy Johns and i work practically everyday (wednesday through sunday) every week. I dont make much now but in a couple weeks I get bumped up 2 bucks if I memorize the menu, which I pretty much have down. I got my first paycheck, and after the deduction for my uniform it came to a whopping $8.00! Now isn't that exciting. 

So anyways, this blog isn't going to be very exciting, because there wont be anything posted that I wouldn't want anyone to see, thats what the journals for.